Passion + Support = Motivation!

Hi,

I don't have much to report about the day's activities, so I'll tell you about the Wingate Scholarship and what it means to me.

I am 28 years old and despite winning international awards, being a composer, concert artist, teacher, mother and colleague to some truly fantastic musicians...I am also still a daughter. This means that while I steam through life, grabbing each and every opportunity and working my socks off, I will always, ridiculously, be trying to impress my mother. This does have its advantages, though. One of those being my unquenchable appetite for challenges and new ventures!

The downside is that I am getting 'too old' for it all. By which I mean that despite my obvious sprightly youth (dubious) I am no longer considered a 'talented young musician'. Although I am still of eligible age to compete in various contests, the winners seem to get younger and younger! I now need to present my talents where my new-found age and inevitable wisdom (again, dubious) are valued.


When I was lucky enough to receive the third prize and - a massive honour for me - a special Audience Prize (sponsored by Peutz acoustics) at the First Netherlands International Harp Competition in March this year, it only fed my desire to study harder and achieve more. However, as a lone parent to an eight year old boy and a busy concert harpist, who would support me in my passion for learning and studying new music?

The answer came in the form of the Wingate Scholarship. The scholarship actively encourages applications from people like myself who haven't necessarily followed a traditional career path and/or who have dependants. In fact, they seem to delight in odd-balls, would or could-have-beens and talented people who slip through most application criteria on the grounds of age, lack of qualifications or a quirky subject choice.

When I stumbled across the Wingate Scholarship website whilst searching for possible funding for my new music project this year, I experienced my first glimmer of hope. A lot of work went into my application and I was blessed with support from teachers and mentors whose references clearly made an excellent impression on the committee. When I heard that I had been granted an audition and interview, I knew that I was in the running for something exciting and wide-ranging that could open up an entirely new dimension to my career.

After the interview, I felt like I'd had a session with a psychoanalyst and exposed all my own flaws and failings! As well as playing the harp for the audition panel I had to pretty much explain my very existence as a harpist! When you have to express your hopes and dreams to strangers, you realise just how passionate you are for your career...and in my case, how much of an experience I want to be able to give my audiences!

The audition day was a thrilling experience but one that left me feeling vulnerable, hopeless and like a failure. I thought that having been so honest about my life as a mother and musician combined, frankly showing my lack of financial prowess and revealing my life-changing plans (that suddenly sounded like pipe dreams) would have lost me the opportunities I am so desperate for. However, a couple of weeks later, I got the GOOD news letter through the post - I was a Wingate Scholar!

I can still remember that feeling. Accepted and supported, within a wide community of other people - a bit like me! - brilliant and passionate and....perhaps....just a little bit odd!

In two days time I shall be in Amsterdam receiving my first harp lesson as part of my Wingate Scholarship - with the wonderful Ernestine Stoop. I am just so lucky to have got this chance.

Night, all!